Where Slobs Fail

People judge you. This fact will not change with age, status, or income level. One thing that people especially like to judge is the way you keep your home. When you're expecting guests, don't slack off. Preparing your place for entertaining others is a priceless skill, and preparing your place for entertaining others on a time constraint is an art. So slobs, listen up. This post's for you.

First and foremost, it's imperative that we address crazy cat ladies. There is nothing more off-putting than the putrid scent of cat excrement upon entering one's abode. For those of us with all five senses intact, the noxious odor may even ignite the gag reflex. No one should be able to tell you have pets (or kids) by solely employing their sense of smell. With this in mind, it becomes crucial to eliminate any odors plaguing your home before your guests' arrival, as this is sure to be the first thing they notice. Febreeze works fantastically on a variety of fabrics and assists in killing odor causing bacteria on contact.

Secondly, candles are your friend. They can give ambiance to any setting and they won't break the bank. But clutter slobs, remember that less is more. Candles are an ACCESSORY. If you choose to line your foyer, hallways, and rooms with candles, you run the risk of looking like a satanic freak. Additionally, never use scented candles in the event that you are serving food. This can be displeasing to one's olfactory and curb his or her appetite. Lighting Yankee Candle's "Fresh Cut Grass" during a turkey dinner is no way to win friends. In fact, it's one way to lose them, fast. Scents must also appropriately match the occasion. Thinking about lighting Bath & Body Works' "Grandma's Carrot Cake" signature candle for the big romantic proposal dinner? Think about getting rejected, hard.

Prioritizing the pre-arrival cleaning is of utmost importance. Slobs tend to have their cleaning priorities out of whack, and they'll devote six hours to cleaning the garage before stepping foot in their biohazard of a bathroom. Focus on the rooms that you and your guests will be spending the most time and get those done first. Living rooms, kitchens, and bathrooms tend to rank high on this list. There is virtually no sense in straightening up the bedrooms for guests that are coming over for dinner, that is, unless you convince them to stay the night.

Another area where slobs fail: minutiae. Slobs always overlook the small stuff, and this is perhaps the most pressing issue in tidying up one's home. DETAILS DETAILS DETAILS. Always spot clean the day of your expected guests' arrival. This means getting tough mildew stains out of the tub, shining your faucets, and scrubbing the toilets. Guests will always take a peek at how clean (or filthy) your johns are. Leave just one pubic hair on your toilet seat and you're committing social suicide.

Lastly, towels. Towels on the floor? Throw them in the hamper. Stained towels on the racks? Replace them with clean ones. Everyone likes a fresh towel. Don't let mysterious stains on your linens leave your guests' imaginations running wild.

So remember, get a head start on cleaning, and never procrastinate when it comes to the details that you think your guests will overlook. Guests are hawkish and vigilant of cleaning faux pas. Don't let them fool you. Teri strongly recommends cleaning an entire day in advance and then spot cleaning the day of your guests' arrival. Failure to comply with such regulations may result in social ridicule and dwindling numbers of house-guests.